Blog Archives: A Dream is a wish.... (Post from 10/29/2019)

Cinderella was on to something with the statement "A Dream is a wish your Heart make's". I have to admit. My childhood was one for the books. Most people don’t even believe me when I finally do share it with them. I get one of two looks. The First is that of confusion. I see the thought of “Wow this girl is crazy, and she has to be making this up! There is now way she survived all that” come across their face. It’s funny because I notice it right away. The second look is that of compassion, and sympathy. This is a “Wow, you make so much more sense to me now” look on their face. Truth be known neither one bothers me. I guess because it is half expected on my part. The good news is while I let my past teach me things I needed to grow and survive, I finally let go of the pain that held me back for so long. This task was difficult, but once accomplished, it was truly a gift from God. One of the things I did as a child was memorable. Whenever life got hard, difficult, scary and/or traumatic. I would close my eyes and travel the world of my imagination. I was blessed with a wonderful imagination that allowed me to escape my pain and situation. The imagination was so strong that I would (for a while anyway) truly believe I was in whatever far off magical place I had come up with or traveled too. I had been in castles, Time machines, and Great adventures across great lands. This was my coping mechanism as a child. So why am I explaining this now? Well, because there is a lesson to be learned here about Dreams and Imagination. One that I would like to share with you now…

Last December I received some of the worse news anyone could hear in their lives. I was told that my life was in danger of coming to its end in a short period of time. I won’t go into details because that doesn’t matter now. Needless to say, the cold bitter feeling that overwhelmed me was one I shall never forget. All kinds of things started running through my mind. What will happen to my son? I was just informed I was going to be a grandmother. Would I get the chance to meet my Grandchild before I was gone? Do I have enough money for my funeral without leaving the burden behind to my friends and family, and how would I tell my mother that she was going to have to bury her child? These were all valid questions of which I did not have the answers too. So, what did I do? Shockingly I didn’t panic. I did what I always did. I fought. I let my imagination take over and myself believe that not only was I going to make it, but I was going to fight as hard as I could to live, and that’s exactly what I did. I lived. That was the lesson I learned this year. That you can still be alive in this life, but not really living. You can wake up every morning for years and still not truly live unless you make that happen. I am happy to announce that my fight paid off. Because of my determination and persistence, and with the help of God, Good friends and talented doctors, it looks like I will be around for a while.

That’s when it hit me….

I never was just alive in this world. I have always lived. I always was true to myself, fought for what I believed was right, and never changed myself or my opinion for anybody. I never lived my life according to what the world felt I needed to be, behave or react. I always fought against the grain of the social norm and I was always proud of it. I was always…Me. I raised myself. I taught myself right from wrong, and I gave myself the kind of life not only that I needed, but even wanted. Even when the odds were stacked so strong and high against me. I fought to make all my accomplishments a reality and all my dreams to come true. I never gave up, never gave in, never compromised who I am. In the end I always chose what would be best for me, even when it looked like I wouldn’t. I’m agnostic, but very spiritual, and I can tell you that I would have not accomplished this without the love and compassion of our creator.

So, I did what any sensible girl in my shoes would do…I bought a ticket to Paris and to London. One of the places I would visit in my mind as a child. A two places I had dreamed of since I was a little girl. Come tomorrow, I will have made yet another dream come true. I did this again with the lords help, and the help of some very great friends and family. To them I will be forever grateful. So, what I am trying to say is…Live. Don’t just survive. There is a difference between the two. Which one are you doing right now? Well I’m off to bed to dream about the next adventure after this one…Thinking about making a movie next. Its not impossible. Anything is possible. Until next time. Thanks for reading.

-Olivia Rivera